This list may be expanded upon at a later and/or further date. With it, you shall deal.
Hot and Crusty.
This is some sort of panini breakfast daytime food factory. They sell food that is supposed to be hot. And crustish. I imagine. They don't however, sell that feeling you get when you are finished with yourself. Nor is it a non-minor toy store.
Johnny Rockets.
Another place to stick meat in your mouth that has nothing to do with sticking meat in your mouth.
Dave and Busters.
Who is Dave? Who is Buster? Are there multiple Busters? Are we supposed to know that Dave and Buster, or the many Busters, are fans of indoor, small-space gaming not including cards or gambling? How would we know this? More importantly, D&B should be looked at in that light - the abbreviated. D and B. Bick and Dalls. Douche and Bags.
Correction: Dave and Busters does not have a misleading name, since it is a place for douchebags to metaphorically wave their Daves and Busterses around and compare Dave sizes, while enjoying indoor pseudo-athletics. They will be removed from this list when I redeem my free whack-a-Dave card.
Cold Stone Creamery.
No wrestlers were harmed in the making of strangely flavored ice cream. Which is very un-like Stone Cold. He harms wrestlers and his ice cream flavors are beer. Also, the servers do not wear black underwear and boots. Exclusively. Also, only a majority of the employees are addicted to flavors influenced by the state of Colorado. Also their tabletops are made out of wood and frozen yogurt. On the plus side, I hear their soups are delicious.
Burger King.
Dairy Queen.
Maybe I just expect more from royalty. Like Captain Hook, or King Roland. And look, they're allowed to do as they please, I just wouldn't expect the Queen of Dairy to serve hamburgers. That would be like a nursing mother offering very literally her own barbequed ribs to her feeding cougar hunter/child. Nor would I expect the King of Burgers to sell chicken-based lunchables. This would be like a marijuana farmer introducing his clients to cocaine or life. Nor would I expect to be surprised and terrified to possibly encounter a bear in a place called Bearsville. That would be like attempting to terrorize the United States knowing full well that Jack Bauer is in jail and has no way of foiling your evil plot. Nonetheless, these things are realities. Like J-Woww. The extra W is for wtff. The extra f is for facted. the extra ed is for an Extra Dose of Dave. Courtesy of Johnny Rockets. It will make you Hot and Crusty.
Hot and Crusty.
This is some sort of panini breakfast daytime food factory. They sell food that is supposed to be hot. And crustish. I imagine. They don't however, sell that feeling you get when you are finished with yourself. Nor is it a non-minor toy store.
Johnny Rockets.
Another place to stick meat in your mouth that has nothing to do with sticking meat in your mouth.
Dave and Busters.
Who is Dave? Who is Buster? Are there multiple Busters? Are we supposed to know that Dave and Buster, or the many Busters, are fans of indoor, small-space gaming not including cards or gambling? How would we know this? More importantly, D&B should be looked at in that light - the abbreviated. D and B. Bick and Dalls. Douche and Bags.
Correction: Dave and Busters does not have a misleading name, since it is a place for douchebags to metaphorically wave their Daves and Busterses around and compare Dave sizes, while enjoying indoor pseudo-athletics. They will be removed from this list when I redeem my free whack-a-Dave card.
Cold Stone Creamery.
No wrestlers were harmed in the making of strangely flavored ice cream. Which is very un-like Stone Cold. He harms wrestlers and his ice cream flavors are beer. Also, the servers do not wear black underwear and boots. Exclusively. Also, only a majority of the employees are addicted to flavors influenced by the state of Colorado. Also their tabletops are made out of wood and frozen yogurt. On the plus side, I hear their soups are delicious.
Burger King.
Dairy Queen.
Maybe I just expect more from royalty. Like Captain Hook, or King Roland. And look, they're allowed to do as they please, I just wouldn't expect the Queen of Dairy to serve hamburgers. That would be like a nursing mother offering very literally her own barbequed ribs to her feeding cougar hunter/child. Nor would I expect the King of Burgers to sell chicken-based lunchables. This would be like a marijuana farmer introducing his clients to cocaine or life. Nor would I expect to be surprised and terrified to possibly encounter a bear in a place called Bearsville. That would be like attempting to terrorize the United States knowing full well that Jack Bauer is in jail and has no way of foiling your evil plot. Nonetheless, these things are realities. Like J-Woww. The extra W is for wtff. The extra f is for facted. the extra ed is for an Extra Dose of Dave. Courtesy of Johnny Rockets. It will make you Hot and Crusty.
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