Recently something happened. What happened was lots of things. One of the things that happened was a collection of people at an event. This event was weird and stupid. Another thing that happened is that a friend of mine, we'll call him "Perry MacAdams", who knew very little about this person collection, asked me about it, what it was, why it was, and why "celebrities" like "Tom Green" were involved.
He also asked me to write a long and strange description of it so that I could then send it to a friend, who we'll call "The Dawson" so that it could then also be posted online in some form or another, that we'll call "What's about to follow".
So what's about to follow (oh, NOW that makes sense) is my explanation of the Who, What, How, Why, and WTF of The 11th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos, presented by Dairy Queen, Burger King, The Princess Diaries, Prince, The Royal Tannenbaums, Crown Royal, and Adam Prince.
Begin pasted section, as was emailed to said friends:
Without doing any additional research, it appears there once was this thing that some people called a musical group consisting of 2 rodents, and this thing was called the Insane Clown Posse. Somehow actual human beings listened and bought records and followed said land crustaceans.
These people became known as no longer people, and were mutated into a subhuman race known as "The Juggalo".
They wear clown face paint much like Kiss and Kiss fans, only somehow, with fewer brain cells and less musical intelligence. I know. I've heard Alive 3 and I can't believe it either, but trust me. Collectively we're talking about the IQ of one whole retard. Picture Texas Stadium filled with organisms that look like a cross between Limp Bizkit and Peter Criss. Now among those 74,000 people, find a way to divide Forrest Gump's IQ out in an equal, fair, socialist fashion.
Now we understand "The Juggalo".
Approximately 11 years ago (I'm assuming this based on the infomercial saying this is their 11th. For all I know this is their 2nd and they're even dumber than I thought.) The benevolent leaders of the Juggalos (said sanity-free, carnival freak troupe) held a gathering for all of their fans to show up. Surprisingly, this site was not bombed. Clinton was a fucking pacifist, I don't care what the Serbs say. Over the last decade plus (or year, depending still on the precise level of dee-dee-dee) these gatherings have been allowed to continue, with zero retaliation from either civil human sovereign nations like Finland, or from oppressive regimes like Norway. These fuckers live on. To be fair, Bush said you're either with us or against us. They don't seem to be with us, and they may not be against us, but dammit, I think we're all against them.
So yeah. A number of years of retard collection in the name of music. You'll notice if you feel like dumbing yourself down and watching the video, that the "celebrities" you speak of are more accurately described as "former celebrities" or "has beens" or "washed up" or "Gallagher".
Yes.
End pasted section.
For additional reading/writing/rithmatic material, feel free to do these things:
Here is the entire seventeen minute interview complete with unnecessary seventeen minutes.
Here is Tom Green at said event thing
Here is the son of one of the members of the group of crazy circus performers performing something equally crazy and circusy
Here is a picture
Facts, presented.
And finally, this is something much more juvenile and not nearly as juvenile.
This.
He also asked me to write a long and strange description of it so that I could then send it to a friend, who we'll call "The Dawson" so that it could then also be posted online in some form or another, that we'll call "What's about to follow".
So what's about to follow (oh, NOW that makes sense) is my explanation of the Who, What, How, Why, and WTF of The 11th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos, presented by Dairy Queen, Burger King, The Princess Diaries, Prince, The Royal Tannenbaums, Crown Royal, and Adam Prince.
Begin pasted section, as was emailed to said friends:
Without doing any additional research, it appears there once was this thing that some people called a musical group consisting of 2 rodents, and this thing was called the Insane Clown Posse. Somehow actual human beings listened and bought records and followed said land crustaceans.
These people became known as no longer people, and were mutated into a subhuman race known as "The Juggalo".
They wear clown face paint much like Kiss and Kiss fans, only somehow, with fewer brain cells and less musical intelligence. I know. I've heard Alive 3 and I can't believe it either, but trust me. Collectively we're talking about the IQ of one whole retard. Picture Texas Stadium filled with organisms that look like a cross between Limp Bizkit and Peter Criss. Now among those 74,000 people, find a way to divide Forrest Gump's IQ out in an equal, fair, socialist fashion.
Now we understand "The Juggalo".
Approximately 11 years ago (I'm assuming this based on the infomercial saying this is their 11th. For all I know this is their 2nd and they're even dumber than I thought.) The benevolent leaders of the Juggalos (said sanity-free, carnival freak troupe) held a gathering for all of their fans to show up. Surprisingly, this site was not bombed. Clinton was a fucking pacifist, I don't care what the Serbs say. Over the last decade plus (or year, depending still on the precise level of dee-dee-dee) these gatherings have been allowed to continue, with zero retaliation from either civil human sovereign nations like Finland, or from oppressive regimes like Norway. These fuckers live on. To be fair, Bush said you're either with us or against us. They don't seem to be with us, and they may not be against us, but dammit, I think we're all against them.
So yeah. A number of years of retard collection in the name of music. You'll notice if you feel like dumbing yourself down and watching the video, that the "celebrities" you speak of are more accurately described as "former celebrities" or "has beens" or "washed up" or "Gallagher".
Yes.
End pasted section.
For additional reading/writing/rithmatic material, feel free to do these things:
Here is the entire seventeen minute interview complete with unnecessary seventeen minutes.
Here is Tom Green at said event thing
Here is the son of one of the members of the group of crazy circus performers performing something equally crazy and circusy
Here is a picture
Facts, presented.
And finally, this is something much more juvenile and not nearly as juvenile.
This.
RSS Feed